It’s pretty early to be up on a Sunday. Well… it’s early if you don’t have children or go to Church or have to go into work. I was supposed to work an Overtime shift today at 8am but said screw it and emailed to say I wasn’t coming. I went in yesterday and wondered what the hell I was even doing there. I worked all week. I had a relatively late night (LOL home at 12:30am God I’m old) on Friday. I should have slept in and gone for Brunch or ran errands or do something an adult does with their spare time. Instead I dragged myself into work for money I didn’t need and then took a pass on plans I wanted to go to at night because I was exhausted and feeling like crap stemming from the cold I haven’t taken care of. You ever feel sick and you’re all “I’M GOING TO BEAT THIS” and go buck wild with vitamins and sleep 20 hours a day and then you’re all “YEAH! GOING OUT!” and your body just say “FUCK… YOU!” the morning after? Yeah that was Saturday morning. Health justice or something I don’t know.
I miss Dana. A lot. I haven’t seen her in 2 months and won’t for at least 1 more. She just messaged me on Hangouts. That’s all I really have to say about this subject.
I’m listening to The Documentary 2.5 from The Game. Casey basically shit on it a few days ago so obviously I had to listen to it. I’ve got a lot of respect for Casey’s taste in music. One day we’ll actually agree on what “good” is though. We’ve had more than a few discussions about music over the last few years. Typically my “it’s shit” is countered with an actual thought out argument with references to previous tracks and other artists/genres. Hmm… screw you Casey. As usual, while he didn’t care for the album, I didn’t mind it. I found some of the samples were completely misplaced against hard lyrics. 80’s synth doesn’t work with me while some man is going on about his boys getting shot up on the street.
I got a renewal notice for EYC from WordPress recently. I sat there staring at that email for what seems like eternity (30 seconds? maybe 20?). I gave serious through to blowing the whole thing up. I haven’t written anything in 4 months. The truth of the matter is I quit Food Blogging in late July. I’d put on a significant amount of weight over the course of 2015 and had a complete break down in my room when I was getting ready to go out and nothing fit. Like… NOTHING! A lot of rage and panic and a few tears. No ugly crying though, that’s just obnoxious. I threw out the crutch that was XXXL clothes over 6 years ago. I never thought I’d see the day where that would be a thing in my life. It still isn’t but at the time I was flipping. I knew I had to get out. The whole 3 or 4 events per week lifestyle was destroying me. I emailed a ton of PR firms and basically said forget my email address. I cut “formal” ties with my two main food blogging groups. We’re all friends and we still hang but I couldn’t have that influence in my life. It was weird when my social life basically went from having no time at all to sitting at home doing fuck all. I gym 5x per week now just to fill time (and for health and what not). I really enjoy lifting, though there isn’t a dick big enough that cardio can choke on. God I hate every cardio machine in my gym. Just melt them all down and leave the sludge in their place. Well… that was oddly dark. In any case, to the people who asked me about why I hadn’t written anything, that’s why. Too fat. Too old. Taking care of myself first.
So why am I writing now then? The fuck if I know. I was bored on Sunday morning and figured why not. Lord knows I can’t shut up. I post up a fair amount on Snapchat to get stuff out of my brain. It’s quick and easy and gone in 24 hours. I see a lot of people “don’t get it” much akin to what I saw with Twitter 6 years ago. I think people really need to let go of the concept of what they post online MUST have meaning. Some could or possibly should but it doesn’t have to. There’s nothing wrong with saying/writing/doing what you want for the sake of it. If some nameless drone that you never met rolls their eyes at it then fuck them. You’re never going to meet them or you’ll pass by them once or twice and they won’t matter for the other 99.99999999% of your life. So yeah, I’m going to turn EYC back into my personal blog. I put too much work into it to change it now and I’m not starting something from scratch again so what I write will have nothing to do with the theme of the site. THE HORROR!
That’s the most recent photo I have of Marie. Marie “left” Team Trolling last month. I made fun of her crappy phone among other things for the 987654321st time. Apparently that was the last straw and she up and bounced. I didn’t really give it much thought at the time. My thinking was If your friends leave you for dead, fuck em. Jayme iced our friendship last year. 6 years down the drain. I didn’t even get a chance to apologize on that one and I tried… FOR FOUR MONTHS (that’s how you KNOW I fucked up real good)! Anyway, A few days ago, Jenn posted this thing on Twitter asking what ex’s would say for a synopsis of you. I gave it some thought and had all these ego jerk off thoughts about myself and then at the end of it all I figured they’d say “he trivializes my feelings.” I chalk it up to only child syndrome. Me… Me… ME! It made me (HAR!) think on Marie and our beef. I shit on her, she popped off about it, and instead of taking it all in and acknowledging her feelings I told her she blew her stack for a stupid reason and there are far bigger things out there to be pissed about. If I said I didn’t still believe that, it would be a lie. What I can see now though is that her feelings, and everyone’s, shouldn’t be dismissed. Marie, and a lot of other folks deserve better than that.
My timer just went off saying the Dryer cycle is finished.